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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29747094">in case you don’t live forever (let me tell you the truth)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashystories/pseuds/trashystories'>trashystories</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>yelling at the sky, screaming at the world [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Jurassic World - Fandom, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, POV Kenji Kon, Panic Attacks, Pining, Sleepy Cuddles, Song Lyrics, Suicidal Thoughts, no beta we die like ben</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29747094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashystories/pseuds/trashystories</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenji never really believed in soulmates. That is, until he stepped foot onto the dock of Jurassic World, and saw Ben.</p>
<p>His body was on fire. But burning had never felt so good. </p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>A re-telling of the events of Camp Cretaceous (season 1 &amp; 2), as told by a pining Kenji Kon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darius Bowman &amp; Brooklynn &amp; Yasmina "Yaz" Fadoula &amp; Sammy Gutierrez &amp; Kenji Kon &amp; Ben Pincus, Darius Bowman/Brooklynn, Kenji Kon/Ben Pincus, Yasmina "Yaz" Fadoula/Sammy Gutierrez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>yelling at the sky, screaming at the world [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>in case you don’t live forever (let me tell you the truth)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello my lovelies!! I have felt very deprived of Benji fics, and Camp Cretaceous fics in general, so I obviously had to add in my input. </p>
<p>All the words in italics are lyrics to the beautiful beautiful song by Ben Platt “In Case You Don’t Live Forever”</p>
<p>Gives me the biggest Benji vibes - very much recommend listening to it whilst reading. </p>
<p>Just some TRIGGER WARNINGS:<br/>- Very Minor discussion of suicidal thoughts<br/>- Very Brief descriptions of panic attacks <br/>- Discussions of Death and Grief </p>
<p>Please stay safe whilst reading my lovelies, and without further ado, enjoy xoxo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>you put all your faith in my dreams</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt it the second he stepped off his helicopter onto the island. He didn’t really recognise it at first, too busy playing his part of superiority to really pay too much attention to it. He swung his bag over his shoulder, adjusting his sunglasses, as he gathered his first impression of the other campers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The pink haired one, who he’d later discover was Brooklyn, seemed like a kindred spirit, looking both interesting and disinterested at the same time. She almost looked like he did, playing an elaborate part in a play nobody else knew of. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The taller girl, who looked around his age, Yazmina, radiated the icy energy Kenji was all too familiar with. He too felt like he knew her, in the way that she too was terrified of disappointing those who expected so much of her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The girl who looked far too excited, Sammy, at first glance seemed as though she’d be the one he wouldn’t be able to relate to at all. She was loud and excitable, things that, if genuine, Kenji couldn’t fathom on a good day. But behind that, buried within her eyes, he saw this fear, raw and real, and even if he didn’t know what she was terrified of, he felt as though he knew her all the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The youngest of the group, Darius, seemed too enthusiastic for Kenji to handle, his brain working a thousand miles a minute, spewing dinosaur facts out as tho it was a simple as breathing. But beneath all that, he saw a grief that he too carried upon his shoulder, and he made a specific mental note to look out for the kid. Somebody had to. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His eyes finally landed on the last of the group, and he felt it again, stronger than when he’d first stepped of the helicopter. It felt as though he’d been charged by a thousand batteries, and electricity crackled at his fingertips. Ben, he found out the boys name was. Ben was gorgeous, in a subtle way that he’d never truly been able to appreciate before. He was small and timid, fingers dancing nervously around the zipper of his fanny pack as he hid within his soft green hoodie. Their eyes met, and Kenji lost himself in a sea of blue, soft and gentle, like waves lapping the shore before the sun has risen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt warm all over, and, in a desperate bid to shake whatever feeling this was, he fell back into his ‘rich persona’, and he felt the simmer die down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As they boarded the four-wheel-drive, he tried not to look at the boy, in fear that he’d wonder if he felt it too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>you gave me the world that I wanted, what did i do to deserve it?</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji chalked it up to the campfire, and it’s firey glow, as to why he was feeling so warm. It had absolutely nothing to do with the smaller boy pressed softly against his side, his arms wrapped around Kenji’s own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The night stretched on, and Kenji wished Darius’ story would never end. He wanted to stay here forever, Ben cradled against his side under a moonlit sky, and beside the warmth of the campfire. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course, all good things come to an end, and it irritated Kenji more than it would have normally, when the heavens opened up, and Ben sprung away from him to seek shelter within the tree house. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>I follow your steps with my feet, i walk on the road that you started</em> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Later that night, Kenji awoke to a particularly loud clap of thunder rumbling through the trees. He threw an arm over his eyes, and was about to drift back off to sleep when he heard a whimper cut through the darkness. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sat up fully glancing over to Darius, who was blissfully unaware and asleep. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ben?” he called out to the darkness, softly and gently, afraid to disturb the peace within the room as the storm raged outside. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He heard sniffles as a reply first, before ever so softly, Ben responded, voice shaking, “Kenji?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji felt his heart melt at the sound, and he squinted over to Ben’s bunk in the darkness, seeing an outline of the boy curled up and shaking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji cleared his throat, for some reason feeling as though claws were shredding his lungs and he couldn’t speak. “Ben,” he said again, testing his voice to make sure it didn’t waver, “come over here”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He flipped his covers open and hopped off the bed, waiting patiently for Ben to join him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The smaller boy moved slowly at first, cautiously watching Kenji, as though at any moment the offer would be retracted, and he’d be left scared, alone and embarrassed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As if Kenji could ever do such a thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben slowly climbed into the single bunk, pressing himself up against the wall, as Kenji lowered himself in after him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They lied there for a minute, face to face, breath mingling together, and Kenji, well he felt like he was on fire. Like liquid lava ran through his veins, yet nothing felt more right than at that very moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He shakily took a breath in. “Are you okay?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben looked as though he might’ve brushed off whatever had been bothering him, acting as though he hadn’t been crying when Kenji found him, but instead, he shook his head no. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What happened?” Kenji surprised himself with how soft his voice was, how he hand moved of its own accord to smooth the crease lines in Ben’s face, wiping at the tears that had yet to dry. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m scared... of storms. And of Darius’ story, and I-I had a nightmare.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji’s whole being softened at the vulnerability of the smaller boy, and he edged closer to him, slowly and carefully wrapping his arms around the smaller frame. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Immediately, Ben clung to him as though he were a lifeline, burying his head in Kenji’s neck, his hands clutching at Kenji’s bare chest, and their legs intertwining ever so slightly. He was shaking, sobbing softly into Kenji’s neck as the taller boy whispered a thousand different reassurances, coming his fingers through Ben’s hair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Slowly, he felt the shaking die down, and the breath on his neck even out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben was asleep. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And even though he felt at that moment like he truly was fire, every part of him alight in this feeling so foreign to him, he couldn’t have been more comfortable, and eventually he too drifted to sleep, arms firmly encircling the boy curled into him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>i need you to know that i heard you, every word</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As much as Kenji pretended he hated being in a gyro sphere with Ben, he couldn’t squash the butterflies that had taken residence within him, fluttering every time their hands brushed against the control stick as the two fought for control of the vehicle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It felt so... normal. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It felt so normal when Ben clung to him for dear life when they had to abandon their sphere. It felt so normal when he slipped a hand into the smaller boys, guiding him along with the rest of the group. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>God, it felt like heaven that night, when Ben had hugged him, and thanked him for looking out for him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>What was going on with him?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’ve waited way too long to say, everything you mean to me</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he first heard the roar tear through the jungle below them, Kenji found his way over to Ben, shielding him from the outside world. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It felt like time had stopped when that- that thing, the Indominus Rex, had clawed at the observation deck. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was a new kind of fear, one he hadn’t ever experienced. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He wasn’t afraid just for himself. He was scared for himself, sure, but he was absolutely terrified for Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the zipline was suggested, he made sure Ben went first. If he didn’t survive, that was fine, but the burning in his veins would smother him whole if he didn’t make sure the smaller boy had a chance to escape. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben fumbled with his seatbelt, but Kenji took his hands in his own, doing the seatbelt for him. They stared at each other for a minute, and he was again enamoured by the ocean Ben carried in his eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He smiled at him reassuringly, in a way he hoped said ‘I really, really like you. Stay safe’. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben smiled back, and as Kenji pushed him off the ledge, zipping over the threat, he could almost imagine that his smile had said ‘I like you too. Thank you’. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>in case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now - i love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around</em> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji hit the ground hard. It hurt like hell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt like his body was on fire, but not in the way that Ben lit him up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben. Shit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He pushed his way off the ground, despite the ache and protest in his whole being, and searched desperately for Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He found him, lying across a bush, cuts and bruised forming all over him. Kenji’s breath caught in his throat, and he reached for the smaller boy, pulling him into his lap, praying for him to be okay. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The smaller boy’s eyes opened slowly, coming into focus and locking with Kenji’s. Despite the tears leaking from his eyes, Ben smiled up at him, genuine and terrified, and Kenji, despite himself, laughed, pressing his forehead against Ben’s and taking a moment to breathe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben was okay. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They were all going to be okay.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>in case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth - i’m everything that i am, because of you </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they made it to camp, that hope came crashing down, just like the tree house had, in some time they were gone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji watched Ben closely as he tentatively explored the wreck, and when Ben reached an overturned car, he gasped and fell backwards, breaths coming in panicked hyperventilation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji was over with him in an instant, shielding Ben’s line of his vision with his own body, breathing exaggeratedly and carefully as Ben, pressed against his chest, began to copy his breathing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When did everything get so messed up?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>What was going to happen now? Would he and Ben get out, together? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Originally, he’d hoped that they could be together after the camp, go on a few dates, really be together. They lived within ten minutes of each other. They could’ve done it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The will do it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’re all going to get out of here. And he and Ben would have their happily ever after, no matter what. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’ve carried this song in my mind, listen it’s echoing in me, but i haven’t helped you to hear it </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji had never been afraid as much as he had been this past day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Afraid for not only himself, but Ben too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they were huddled together, waiting to be eaten by the Indominus Rex, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they were being dive bombed by fucking flying dinosaurs, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they were apart in the canoes, falling into the Mosasaurus Lagoon, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he’d made it to the edge before Ben, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Yaz jumped off the boat, leaving Ben alone, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Ben and Yaz were on the steps leading to the monorail, Toro nipping at their feet, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he held open the monorail doors, unsure whether he could hold on for Ben to make it, he was terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now finally, they were safe. For now, at least. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The monorail moved smoothly and quickly, speeding them to their salvation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’d be okay. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben was curled up on the seat next to him, his head resting on his shoulder, softly dozing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji was honoured Ben felt so safe with him. He knew he couldn’t let him down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They were gonna make it. They were gonna get out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He ran his hands softly through Ben’s hair, and the boy stirred, eyes opening and staring at Kenji.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji thought he was going to do something very stupid, like tell Ben he loved him, or even worse, kiss him out of nowhere. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before he could though, Darius was yelling, and that feeling of safety abandoned him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>we’ve only got so much time, i’m pretty sure it would kill me if you didn’t know the pieces of me are pieces of you </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji left Ben in the safety of Bumpy’s care, joining the others in smashing the lights, and desperately trying to keep them all alive. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t enough. They were going to collide head on with the ruined monorail, and that would be it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>No more Kenji and Ben. Nothing left. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Darius had a plan, he was going to go on top of the monorail, slip into the controls, and steer everyone off the path. It was brilliant, but dangerous.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For the first time all day, Kenji truly didn’t think that they’d all make it out alive. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was brought back to reality with Ben’s name being called, and his body felt like ice, dropped and shattered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>No. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>God, anyone but Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt numb as he followed the group, away from Ben, throwing their flashlights around and distracting the killers from Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Dread settled in his heart, and it felt like hours until the monorail veered to the left, and he knew Ben had did it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now he was definitely going to kiss him. Damn whoever cared. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The door to the controls opened, and Ben looked so, so happy. He was glowing, positively shining. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was gorgeous. More beautiful than Kenji had ever seen him, despite the dirt and dried blood that caked him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then, the glass shattered, along with his heart, and he was frozen, frozen in place, in time, and God he wished he could go back to the night Ben stayed with him, safe in his arms.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’ve waited way too long to say, everything you mean to me</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben was hanging there, outside the monorail, hand clinging to Darius, tears flowing from his eyes, terrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And Kenji, Kenji couldn’t move. He was frozen in place, in fear, in the knowledge that he couldn’t get to Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then he fell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji’s eyes locked with Ben’s and the fear he felt sent him to his knees, breath leaving him as he watched Ben grasp the air, falling into the tree line, pterodactyls zipping after him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>in case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’s dead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben’s dead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben is gone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>i love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He registered numbly that he had to jump, had to fall just as Ben had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It felt like nothing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It felt like grief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He clutched Bumpy as tightly as he could, hoping beyond hope that he could protect her in the way Ben would want him to. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>in case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth</em> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Bumpy was gone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Kenji just felt nothing. No fear anymore. What was there to be afraid of now? Ben was gone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d failed Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He didn’t even get to tell him everything he meant to say. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then Bumpy was gone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And he felt like even more of a failure. And Darius was saying something to him but all he could think of, all he could feel, was Ben’s dork pouch wrapped around his waist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>i’m everything that i am because of you</em> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The nights were colder now. It’s been a month, maybe more, and Kenji still couldn’t sleep through the night. No matter that they’d built their tree house again, he still couldn’t shake the ghost of Ben’s arms around him, the ghost of the feeling he used to have. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>That fire inside him that had long since been put out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they saw a campfire, Kenji numbly followed the rest, faking enthusiasm when Darius gave him that look of concern that was reserved solely for him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they were being attacked by Toro, Kenji considered just dying. Being eaten. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Maybe it would hurt less than this pain that enveloped him all the fucking time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But then they were saved, and Kenji was living back in luxury with the group, and still he didn’t feel safe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His heart ached for Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For the small, timid boy who trusted him enough to let him hold his hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Trusted him enough to keep him alive. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And look where that got him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’s dead, because Kenji failed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He tried to distract himself, he really did. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He even followed along with Brooklyn’s conspiracy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But then he was running from his life with the pink-haired teen, and again he found himself considering just stopping. Letting the crazy hunter kill him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>i have a hero whenever i need one, i just look up to you and i see one </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then Ben was there. And Kenji couldn’t catch his breath, and fleetingly he thought this can’t be real, Ben was dead, but then his body lit up again in sparks and he knew. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>This was Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He rushed forward, crashing into Ben and holding him tight, only letting go for a moment for Brooklyn to hug him, before he went back to clinging to him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben smiled at him, and slipped his small, muddy hand into Kenji’s. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The world felt whole again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>i’m a man cause you taught me to be one </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Hap died, Kenji freaked out. He’d never had a panic attack, but somehow he knew this is what he was experiencing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cause when Hap smiled at them, surrounded by the very things that will kill him, Kenji saw Ben. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was far, far too much. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Brooklyn didn’t know what to do, but when they met up with Ben again, he took the reigns, holding Kenji’s hands and pulling him away from Brooklyn and Yaz, who Kenji hadn’t registered had shown up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben pulled Kenji against his chest, a complete role reversal from what seemed like years ago, and slowly, Kenji’s breathing matched Ben’s. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they pulled away, Kenji looked up to Ben as though he’d put the very stars in the sky. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And Ben, well Ben looked exactly the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I missed you,” Ben breathed out, his voice soft and light and breathy and Kenji couldn’t stop himself anymore. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He surged upwards, gently catching Ben’s lips with his own briefly, for only a second, but it still felt as though the world had finally returned to its axis. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he pulled away, he was terrified that he’d overstepped, that this whole time he was pining for nothing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But then Ben chased his lips, and they both sunk into the kiss, Ben’s arms wrapped around Kenji’s neck, and his own hands tracing circles on Ben’s hips. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Everything felt so, so right. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>in case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now - i love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So, they were still stuck in the island. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The group headed back to the campsite, and, as the night settled in, the makeshift family huddled around the fire, Bumpy snoozing below them, and a warmth settled in Kenji. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Maybe it was the fire, maybe it was that they were all together again, maybe it was that they’d all survived another day, or maybe it was Ben, sitting in his lap, his back resting on his chest, with Kenji’s head resting on Ben’s own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>in case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth - i’m everything that i am</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The group had all settled back into their beds, nobody truly wanting to sleep alone. Yaz and Sammy were curled up together in one corner, snoring softly, Darius and Brooklyn were in another, hushed whispers exchanged between them, and Kenji and Ben, they stayed by the campfire, the warmth flooding them and leaving them in a sleepy daze. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben turned in Kenji’s lap, his face so close to Kenji’s that their breath mingled together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The whole time I was gone... I thought of you. I realised, when I was, ya know, falling, that I never told you how much I was uh-falling? for you”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They both laughed at the play on words, and Kenji was glad the tragedy was behind them for now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I really like you too, Ben. So much it hurts. When you were gone I- I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t really eat, I thought about dying a lot. I don’t- I don’t know. I feel whole again now”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ben frowned at the words, but instead of discussing their shared trauma, tonight, Kenji wanted to stay in their blissful bubble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So he captured Ben’s lips with his, and they kissed, softly and slowly and completely, and it felt so, so right. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They stayed like that for another hour, kissing and giggling and laughing carefree as though they weren’t stuck on a killer island. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As they drifted to sleep, Ben cuddled safe within Kenji’s arms once again, Kenji smiled softly, knowing that no matter what, they’d all survive here. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’d make it together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth: As long as I’m here as I am, so are you. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am very proud of all of you, and I love you all!!! Hope you have an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day, and if not, I hope things get easier for you!</p>
<p>Stay safe you beautiful people xoxoxo</p></blockquote></div></div>
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